In one of those moods where you have things to do, but you just can't seem to make yourself work on them... Blah.

I'm working casually back at the camera place because they're drowning in cameras. I get $15 an hour now! Yay yay! Not so great about having to get up early again and getting home so late though...

Kouryuu-chan... You worry me. That's all I have to say to you. Oh, and I disagree with the whole "seduce them with the cute and innocent act" thing. >____< Fuma's approach towards Kamui was *much* more interesting. After he stabbed him six or seven times. :P~~~

Though 046 is finished and sent to my editor, I still haven't gotten it back... So well, it's no longer my fault I'm not updating? ^__^;;; I can't say I'm pleased with 046. I'm thinking that maybe the big jump from present to past wasn't well transitioned, and perhaps the characters are just too OOC... And maybe I'm putting in too much fan service to amuse myself and it's not really necessary and stuff... Especially the bits concerning Gryps. I don't know WHAT I was thinking there. Then again, I hold to the belief that none of this is my fault, and I blame it all on the characters. ^_____^;;;

Oh! And I got PS 7 from Trinity-sama today!!! ^____^ I nearly panicked with I didn't see the air brush tool where it was suppose to be... and there were these weird heal and patch tools there instead... But! The airbrush tool had been combined with several of the existing tools which will make it much more versitile! *Sparkles* I will definately use it with the next CG I do... But I will finish Mine in PS 6... Yah, still working on it... x_X I am very unmotivated... I will send off Trinity-sama's CDs tomorrow. I have been very lazy about that too... Hahaha... x___X;;;

~ Caleyndar @ 9:31 PM

This is more of a rant for Divinitas and should be archived as such... But I am lazy and can't be bothered. So I will just say this:

Aether, you're such a slut!!! Quit it quit it quit it!!! X____X

Okay, now that is out of my system... Onto more serious things. Well, unfortunately I couldn't get a place at the residential college at my new university, so I have to stay at my mom's friend's house, for a few weeks at least until I can find another place to stay. Unfortunately, it looks like I won't have internet connection there. So... There goes my life? ^_^;;; I will come back home each weekend, and I will have internet access here, but still... What will I do without my Knight-kun to protect me, my Trinity-sama to command me, and my Kouryuu-chan with whom I talk about torturing our precious characters??? And of course... -_- Evil SoBe-chan who won't let me hurt her. Not even if I mix her with toxic waste. *Huffs*

Ah well. That is not for a while yet... But I guess I should start planning for a life of... internet-withdrawal... *Sobs*

~ Caleyndar @ 8:59 PM

Well, I have been doing a lot of thinking. When you rip someone's limb off... How do you get the bone out? I suppose you would sort of hack the flash off and then dig the bone out of the socket, ne? *Ponders* But that's so... inelegant... And unromantic. x_X That would be going against my style. *Sighs* Nothing is ever easy! But I'll remember, Kouryuu-chan, for sure. ^____^ Huggle them to keep them warm, and molest them to keep the blood flowing, and yes, find something to stop the bleeding. Though the last two kinda contradict each other, I don't care. The molesting part is so... right. ^____^

Anyway! I am finially up to the torture scene in Wizard's First Rule. It is near the end... Totall loved the line "What's the matter with you! Are you stupid? Your pants go on before your boots!" *Snickers* I totally laughed my head off at that... This is right after the main character is torture... down there... in very painful way and is told to put his clothes back on. *Snickers more* Aww, poor Richard-san... *Pets* There there.

Ooo! Samurai Deeper Kyo is GOOD... There are so many hints of shounen ai in this, and Yukimaru even wears a kimino for fanservice!!! Waa waa!!! He's so pretty and stuff. *Sparkles* Only 4 more episodes to go and I'm done... Hmm... What should I watch next? o_o

~ Caleyndar @ 10:09 PM

I got in!!! Waaa!!! I can now say I am studying Design in Visual Communications at University!!! *Sparkles brightly* Now all I have to hope for is to get accomodation on campus... x_X

Kouryuu... Dressing pretty bishounen up in dresses is fun on occassion... But you and your dressing Kamui up to be erm, molested by Seishirou, Fuma AND Subaru is an unhealthy obsession!!!

Anyway, back to the uni thing. I have to wonder... Did they look at my website? Because the guy who interviewed me for the course asked for my website. So I gave him Divinitas' website, since back then that was the only site with my original work in the layout. If so... Either he didn't read the big fat warning on the index page, or he has a very open mind... Hmmmmmmmmm... Oh well! Not going to look a gift horse in the mouth. I will just accept the offer (and I have already - mailed it off first thing after I got it today!) graciously and be hyper and happy over it. ^____^

Right now I am working on the sketch for the layout for Mine. Wings and blood again, definately... And ribbons and nekkie bishi, and of course, my standard inverted cross. *Nod nod* I finished the Character Exchange thing. You can see my poor effort here.

Won't be on for a day or two... Going to anime marathon at UTS and then staying the night at Patty's. ^_^ We're going to play a Drinking Game with Fruits Basket... *lmao*

~ Caleyndar @ 7:14 PM

I must confess I did much today. I went to Sydney and there I happened upon the 9th volume of X unexpectedly and thus I brought and read all on the way home. Then, still not having recevied my order of books which were way over due, I rang up the company who told me it was already at my post office, only that for some odd reason, the post office never left me a notice. x_X So I dashed there and got the precious books. I read Debt of Bones and have finished it, it being so short and stuff. I... was distressed by it. I wonder if I have the stomach to read Wizard's First Rule though I know I will, because the style of writing and the world the story is set it already has me in its grasp. o_O

I think... I dislike torture. The mere mention of torturing has me twitching. At least... I can't really *enjoy* reading it. And death. Don't even get me started on death. Oh, I appall myself on these two accounts. I can't stand torture or death. I pale at it. What the fucking hell is this?! *Bangs head on keyboard* I don't understand! Why am I fine with, say, Fuma torturing Kamui, but but... not this? *Twitches* Maybe I am just in a weird mood tonight... Yeah... ^_^ I will go shower now and then get on with reading. ^_^ I am still a sadistic yaoi fangirl. I am still a sadistic yaoi fangirl... *Walks away repeating and muttering to self*

~ Caleyndar @ 9:56 PM

Ah, if only I didn't have to do this character exchange thing... Then all would be lovely. 045 was posted yesterday and the Divinitas site updated. Finished CGing K today and gave him to Trinity-sama... Hmm, you can see him here. Now, if it were for the character exchange, I could work on the graphic for Mine and then redesign that site, and *finally* get to doing all the artwork for Divinitas and redesign *that* site. x___X

Oh, it looks like I will definately be going to HK for a few weeks in Feburary... So I can't do anything there, really. I also find out this Friday whether or not I get into the design course.

Nothing else to say... except I still haven't gotten my books and am now most pissed about it. If I wasn't going to Sydney tomorrow, I would ring up and ask about it... But as it is, I will probably have to wait until Wednesday to do that. *Sigh* Why doesn't anything go smoothly for me? x____X

~ Caleyndar @ 10:02 PM

I talked to the girl who's making the Aether and Phoenix plushies on AIM today. She's pretty nice and tells a wonderful fairy tale. ^_^ She's someone that really loves what she does, and compared to me... It makes me feel so very very distant from my artworks. But I suppose there's a difference between dolls and a 2D picture... But not that much either. *Sigh*

There was something I was meant to say about SoBe-chan. Something about her saying someone was delicious. x_X But I forgot what it was. So you're off the hook *this* time, SoBe-chan, but next time! Grrr.... ~_~ I'll teach you to not eat me just because I'm a French Toast!

I read Kouryuu's blog entry just now. And damn we're similiar... I only use chinese to whine to my parents too!!! O_O And smiling and being cheerful even when you want to strangle everyone. Yeah, I know that very well too. (I am glad I can be a perfect bitch on the net whenever I feel like it. ^_^) Saaa... There are other things, but I don't really want to think about such depressing things atm.

And finially, 045 is FINISHED!!! It's off with the editor atm, but yay! It's finished, it's finished! *Sparkles* ... But when I get it back... It's almost 11 pages to format. *Dies* 046 onwards is going to be concerning The Past. Hmmm... Lost of sex? o_O Ahhh! I didn't just type that, I didn't I didn't!!! *Runs away screaming*

~ Caleyndar @ 8:24 PM

Today was very... slow and quiet. Didn't do much of anything. CGed K a bit, wrote a bit more of 045, complained with Kouryuu about the usual stuff. Came across this neat art site called deviantART which is really really great in the way it displays your artworks. WAY better than the current Side 7, though I use that to post a lot of my fanart. In my opinion, at least, deviantArt is more original works, and Side 7 is more fanart when it comes to anime related artworks anyway... So I will keep the two seperate as such. ^_^

*Sighs* Unfortunately I still haven't recevied my books. And I'm hungry. So I think I will go eat now. o_o

~ Caleyndar @ 6:25 PM

The Artist Cafe runs a character exhange program every month, so Kouryuu and I signed up for it thinking it might be interesting and fun. We both got paired up with people whose characters are generic girls. ~___~ What's worse is mine wears baggy clothing and blue shoes. Well. That will just go lovely together. Okay, so I might not have any fashion sense, but still!!! I'm a drawer of *skimpy* clothes. Aether and Casi saw to that. Skimpy clothes or no clothes... Or something that's *interesting* at least in Feiner's case. That's my benchmark. And now you're telling me I have to draw baggy clothing. Could it get any more less interesting? I don't think so. But! Now that I have ranted, I will just do it.

I've kinda completely stopped writing Divinitas. I don't know when I'll resume, though I am pretty sure I will. I think I just have to rebuild my confidence and my communication with the characters. Afterall, to let the words of someone insignificant bother me and ruin my dreams is pathetic to say the least. I'll take a leaf out of Phoenix's book and say "screw you" to anyone who tells me otherwise. Fight fight fight!

Where the hell are my books? o_O They should be here by now! 1 to 2 days shipping!!! This is the 2nd day, damn it. They all lie. ~_~ Everyone lies. *Twitches*

~ Caleyndar @ 10:39 AM

Friends shouldn't lie. If you just don't think it's worthy of your time to read, then just say so. There's no need to say "I don't have the time." Really, I'm not stupid. Even if I act like I don't have a clue sometimes. You say you're bored and have nothing to do because you sleep so little and are awake for many hours. And then say you don't have the time. You really piss me off.

I got a new mobile today. Trinity-sama says they're called cell phones in the US. We call them mobiles in Australia. I hate them. -_- They are like a collar and chain that you must drag where ever you go, but my parents insist on me carrying one anyway.

I'm too worked up atm to do anything. So maybe I'll just read until my hair dries and then go to bed. If I'm lucky I might get the first shipment of books tomorrow. Apparently they are sending the ones they have in stock out first.

~ Caleyndar @ 11:56 PM

No one likes my sketch of K. *Bawls* First Trinity-sama said the hair was puffy and the eyes were too girly, so I tried to fix that and showed the corrected version to Knight-kun. Then Knight-kun says the head and stuff looks weird!!! *Sulks in some dark corner of her cave, muttering* I quit I quit I quit...! *Disappears into Ashes and Dust*

On another note... I got an email today about my order of books that said 2 of the Sword of Truth series weren't in stock so they'll have to backorder them and they won't be in for another 2-3 weeks. *Frowns* Well, I suppose that will give me time to finish Blood and Gold and get started on Lord of the Rings. o_O Who ever thought I would be attempting to read those books again.

Shin-chan, if you by chance are reading this: You said you're no longer reading Divinitas. And perhaps it does suck and it doesn't interest you. But maybe you should continue reading it anyway. Why? Something like... You need to fight and keep on fighting and living for yourself. Hmm... On that note, I hate Aether, and I hate 045.

~ Caleyndar @ 12:19 AM

I once considered Fuma as the Evil Dark God, and I worshipped the ground he walked on. He was Evil for the sake of being Evil - one that had no morals whatsoever. That has now all changed. Thanks to THIS picture. Now I can't even read his name without wincing and seeing the picture in my mind's eye. So click on it at your own risk. (Kouryuu, this is all you fault!)

Today I noticed something about my writing speed. Smut scenes takes longer than normal scenes. o_O It may be because they are more uncomfortable and unfamiliar to write. Or it could be because one character usually stalls, or the other talks too much. Either way, I'm pissed off at 045 already and everyone should just die.

A few weeks back Trinity-sama asked me to marry her and I said no. So she married Rose-chan instead... Now she calles her Rose-wifey, and I think I'm jealous... X_X Classic case of wanting what other have. *Goes and crawls into her deep dark caves*

~ Caleyndar @ 10:21 AM

I still don't get why you can't eat when writing/reading smut. Or after you've just done so either. It's always a treat to eat ice-cream when writing! You just take a lick whenever you're thinking up of the right word or how to phrase something so it flows nicely. ^___^ ... Okay, I'll stop. But really, I don't get it. o_o And I started writing smut when I was 18. You're 17. Does one year really make that much of a differnce?

Trinity-sama says she likes my suggestion for her 2nd domain name!!! @_@ I suggested MelodicDawn.net... I was looking at all my X graphic novels (remind me I have to order Vol. 9) and was thinking the all had music related titles... Yeah... o_o

Anyway, right now I should be at work. But I felt sick (I napped the whole afternoon because I felt so crap) and it was quiet so I got to come home early. Now I guess would be a good time to finish 045... *Sigh*

~ Caleyndar @ 7:22 PM

Kouryuu says that if I want my r/l friends to be into yaoi like I am... I have to corrupt them on my own. *Makes a face* My one close friend is kinda into it. She reads Divinitas and watches shounen ai stuff. I think I *did* corrupt her, since she wasn't even that into anime before I met her. My other friends are mostly acquaintances - people I hang out with time to time, and who I really wouldn't *want* to commit to the Yaoi-ness... o_O

~ Caleyndar @ 8:48 AM

My day out was fun. I got to eat takopachi balls... I think that is how you spell them? You know, the Japanese snack things with a piece of octapus in them and they spin/fold it up into a ball whilst its cooking...? Well, they were pretty nice. ^_^

Watching The Two Towers again was cool too. Of course there were no surprises, but it was easier to follow everything second time around. I still haven't read the books, and I think I will after I finish reading Blood and Gold. Talking about books, I found the Sword of Truth series by Terry Goodkind in the book stores today, but they didn't have the first book, so I didn't buy. x_X I may have to order it in, since I *do* want to read them - they were recommended to me because apparently the first book has pretty detailed torture scenes in it? o_O Blah, anyway, I must go and get some energy back now.

~ Caleyndar @ 6:30 PM

Okay, the blog is done. I guess I will upload now. Also burning off Chobits... Going out tomorrow to see The Two Towers again with Patty... Will be taking her Chobits and YnM on CD for her. I'm tired and sleepy. And think the html in my blog is messy. x_X

I guess I really should finish 045. Otherwise my editor will ask again and I will have to run away. It's just that... I think I've hit another writer's block. *Cries* Anyway, going to read more fan fics now, and burn off more CDs... Then sleep. z_z

~ Caleyndar @ 12:35 AM

Damn making this blog is confusing. I think the design is bad. x_X Oh well. Just have to put up with it for awhile (a year or so... hahahaha!) because hell, I can't afford to spend more time on it. A quick comment on the artwork used for this layout... It is an "It"... I don't care what other people say, but it's an It. Neither a boy or a girl, it is an It. Even if Kouryuu has decided it is "Secrets-kun"... Okay, gotta get back to making the rest of the pages and stuff for this blog now... x_X

~ Caleyndar @ 10:20 PM